Everything has been leveled to the ground. I took the leap in service of spirit and landed wings a little battered but intact and grateful for it. I’ve left the job, moved across the country, shed the old skins and the new one is still soft sensitive and vulnerable. I have burned to ash by the heat of transformation. Now what?
I seem to be in a hurry to stand on solid ground again but I feel like I’m fighting against gravity. The divine forces seem to have another pace for me. I just knew I would have it together by now that after the flam I would be reborn as a more confident, strong, wise me but what I feel is as a child, sensitive, shy, hesitant. fearful. So what does this teach me about transformation?
Transformation is a process and each of us has a unique path through it. There may be some peak event where the fire burns brightest and everything you know gets burned to a crisp and you are in the throws of change. But the process of integration has it’s own rhythm and pace. Can I listen to my compassionate self, the wisest part of me and trust the process? Trust that courage will return, that new friends will be made, that I will find my niche? Can I tolerate the discomfort of my own newness?
My mantra is in the rebuild of my life is to lay each brick carefully so my house can be strong and made with care and as every artist knows quality takes time.